Have you ever felt like you are too sensitive?

Have you ever felt like your emotional responses or sensitivity to events are not like other peoples? Have you texted a friend and not received a response soon enough and then had your mind spiral into thinking you have done something wrong, they are mad at you, you have hurt their feelings and become very upset and fixated on it? Thinking about your last conversation with that person, worrying, analysing that you may have said x, y or z that has upset them? Analyzing things down the rabbit hole and often finding it difficult to pull yourself out of the spin? Have you been told that you are too sensitive or emotional throughout your life? That you take things too personally and should just have a thicker skin? Having close people ask you why can’t you let certain things go? Have you ever gotten an email from a manager asking for a meeting but not explaining what it’s about, and your first thought is that you are going to be fired? Or your partner or friend gives you critical feedback and you feel like it’s the end of the world? 

In specific situations all of us will experience intense regret, shame, embarrassment, and failure. But some of us will collapse internally at the slightest hint of disapproval or discomfort from others, with feelings of inferiority and wanting to hide away from the world.

Have you heard of Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria or RSD? This is something that some neurodiverse people can experience. RSD is an experience of feeling intense emotional pain when there may be some form of rejection involved. People with RSD are more likely to interpret vague interactions or changes in someone's attitude or demeanor negatively, and believe that it’s a result of something they have done. It often involves internalising blame, shame, guilt and an intense sense of worry or preoccupation.

The human brain is a complicated network of connections, doing a variety of jobs like managing emotions, managing sensory input, managing memory. As we learn as children and get older the brain is able to learn to regulate these signals and cut out the extra noise. However with neurodiverse people these connections can stay the same. So we are unable to filter out information the same way as neurotypical people, which means our brains can be constantly working and analyzing. This is how RSD can impact people, because the brain is still at full speed and not able to filter out the extra noise.

What does healing look like? It can be different from person to person. But the first step is recognising what’s going on and understanding where these thoughts are coming from. Understanding and giving yourself compassion to know this is just how your brain works. Identifying what situations activate your RSD is important, as is learning strategies to support yourself. Working with a therapist can help you develop the strategies that work for you. You are not alone in this.

If you would like support, don't hesitate to contact us.